Ever wonder if you’re “That Guy”? Here’s how to avoid it!

#2 T-Shirt Launcher Guy

Posted in "That Guy" by ftm6291 on April 4, 2008
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Ever been to a professional sporting event? Then you’ve seen this guy at least once, which is one too many times. You can easily identify this guy with his overly gelled hair, team-colored track suit (or Zubaz), circa 1994 Oakley sunglasses, and handheld launcher armed with $5 t-shirts. But don’t think you’re getting one of those crappy t-shirts easily; you need to impress this guy. After the whistle blows indicating a stoppage in play and “Everybody Dance Now,” “Pump Up the Jam,” or “Are You Ready for This?” begins to blare over the PA system, it’s t-shirt launcher guy’s time to shine! If you’re at a hockey game, he usually makes his grand entrance by sliding onto the ice on his knees and frantically flailing his arms in the air. Then the taunting ensues, as he begins to exercise his deluded power over the fans by pointing his t-shirt launcher at whichever section cheers the loudest. Which way is he going? Whose gonna get a chance at grabbing a shirt any self respecting individual wouldn’t wear if their life depended on it? I don’t know….THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!!!! Please t-shirt launcher guy; please fire one of those worthless shirts my way so I can make an ass of myself on the jumbotron, PLEASE!!!! Do you see where I’m going here? T-shirt launcher guy must be stopped, and the only real way to do that is by not contributing to his delusions of grandeur. If you are t-shirt launcher guy, you’re not cool, and if you’re begging for t-shirt launcher guy’s attention, you’re making us all miserable. For the love of God, please stop!